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chim chim cha boo 8:11 Wed Jun 24
anyone ever eaten a durian.

Have you ever eaten durian? Walking through the night market last night I thought I'd stumbled across a sewerage plant but it was just a stall selling durian. Does it give you a buzz? The taxi driver warned that it can give you a heart attack if you mix it with booze. Is it true?

'It's like eating the most delicious fruit you've ever eaten in the nastiest toilet you've ever been in' the Rough Guide says.

One of you East Asian-based Hammers must have some experience, surely? Any advice gladly welcomed.

Cheers.

chim chim cha boo 5:40 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Ah that explains it. He cut it beautifully and presented three raised segments from the half and told her to eat the yellow flesh.

Cheezey Bell-End 5:10 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

The smell and taste vary between different varieties and stages of ripeness. It's also the outer rind that smells the most, and they usually cut that off and discard before selling the flesh.

chim chim cha boo 5:03 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

I think it's a particular type of durian they're selling here Fraser.

I've got to say, everyone local is tucking in. Wherever you go you smell it in the heat, turn a corner and there it is. I don't mind the smell now actually.

Like I say, I put the one the missus bit into right up to my nose and it hardly smelled of anything. She loves sweet stuff too and I've never heard her say something was too sweet. No, this tasted rank. Amazing really as everyone says once you get past the smell it tastes lovely.

Maybe she got a bad one? How the fuck could you tell? Ha ha!

fraser 6:44 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Ha ha I don't get how people say it tastes like that.I even got my mrs and kids to try it.

They didn't like it but said it was because it was too sweet and sickly, but none of them said the taste was disgusting.

We're all different granted and I'm sure it did taste like that to Mrs. Chim, just can't get my head around it.

chim chim cha boo 6:19 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

You'll notice I didn't go for it Coff, she did. And somehow it must have slipped my mind to give her the sage advice or let her read this thread...

Coffee 6:07 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Even after starting and reading this thread, you still went for it? Some people only learn the hard way.

Excellent write up, by the way! :-)

chim chim cha boo 6:00 Fri Jun 26
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Well that was a bit of an embarrassment.

I could smell the durian stall from quite a long way up the road and it smelled like hot, rotting sewerage.

When we got there I explained that mrs Chim had never had durian before and wanted to try it. There were loads of Malays tucking in and we must have seemed like a bit of a curiosity. Strangely, once we were at the stall the sewerage smell went away.

The bloke explained that the 'king of the durian' was for sale, it was exactly in season and they don't cut it off the tree, they wait all night and two or three drop and are quickly picked up as moisture from the ground ruins them. He got us a table, some tissues, water and a big plate of delicious rambutans, 'hairy fruit' (Asians sometimes call Westerners that as an insult). He said his company were exporting durians to Australia as more Westerners were enjoying the taste.

He bought the durian to the table cut in half and explained the bit to eat. I had a sniff and amazingly it didn't smell bad at all. I was led to believe it smelled terrible and tasted delicious.

Mrs Chim asked if I was going to have any and I must say I was tempted but stuck to rambutans. She tucked in, the bloke and now everyone around the stall watching intently, swallowed and said 'that is absolutely fucking rank. By far the nastiest thing I've ever tasted'.

I laughed out loud and everyone else laughed too then went on eating. The bloke said 'not for you then?' She couldn't answer because it looked like she was going to be sick. 'Go and wash your hands over there and don't forget to brush your teeth' he said with a good heart.

She said to me in a low voice 'imagine cooking piss and shit for a week, put it in a liquidiser then throw in a splash of bog cleaner for good measure and you're about halfway there to how fucking rotten that thing tasted. I'd die of starvation before I ate that again'.

'See you next time' the stallholder said with a big smile. 'No fucking chance' she mumbled.

Now she keeps burping it and is appalled but trying to get me to smell it. I'm thinking about locking her on the balcony.

Hugh Monteith 8:00 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

*up his arse as he massaged his*

Hugh Monteith 7:56 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

The stench and pre pubescent aftershave that he measured his manhood with was enough to get aToA offer the boy a clipped ear.

Dear old Tynan the anally co joined twin of another notorious mod sat there with his finger up his are as heasaged his mentors ego and called a west ham supporter posting about Ron TINDALL a playgrounder
.those were the days weren't they flotsom

Coffee 7:43 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Tea of Adamson: Blah dee blah dee blah

Tynan: You have been issued with a Red Card. This is not a playground, etc.

Hugh Monteith 7:39 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Durian.is he the poster in a string vest.

I used to enjoy posting on his threads.

Coffee 7:31 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

fraser.....................................

fraser 7:27 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

I don't mind the smell at all

Coffee 6:56 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

"they do tend to pong a bit"

That is the greatest understatement EVER on WHO.

Far East Hammer 6:37 Thu Jun 25
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

If in the mood, and they're fresh, i.e. sufficiently ripe but not over ripe, they can be lovely.

Texture can be similar to some ice cream. Very creamy: both the texture and one of the layers of taste.

Downside is that they do tend to pong a bit (as just might perhaps have been alluded to already on this thread by others)

SecondOpinion 8:11 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

www.durianporn.com

Member log in:
Password:

Gavros 7:13 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Im yet to find a porno that includes the insertion of a whole durian up a birds arris. Where am i going wrong?

chim chim cha boo 7:12 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

We've just had an evening in Georgetown Panang (Malaysia) and not only is it durian season, the missus says it doesn't smell too bad and says she'll try it at some point.

I've not got the heart to tell her that what she can actually smell is rambutans that are actually quite nice. I think she's in for a bit of a surprise. I'll have the camera at the ready...

mashed in maryland 7:01 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Had some in Vietnam.

Didn't think it was all that.

VirginiaHam 5:15 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

Looks like shit, smells like shit, tastes like shit?

Spandex Sidney 3:09 Wed Jun 24
Re: anyone ever eaten a durian.

No, but I once ate a bird who smelled like a durian?

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